I opened up my old hard disk today, to look for this image. My writing prompt was to write about living in a world with fear based social media. I remembered this image I painted in 2008, 6 ft. Tall in the attic of a country house in the outskirts of Milan, Italy.
This was my way to live in this world. Be the little bubble in the right hand bottom of the picture, plant my heart flowers and talk to the ants and the microscopic world of that which I curated. This way, I could ignore the sensation behind my back of ominous destruction all around me.
I could curate my circle. I lived in a van. I created performances where I could control the content, the outcome and even direct the responses from my public.I could decorate my world, the way I wanted it.
A safe world. As an unknowing HSP (highly sensitive person) at the time, the stimulation of the world was overwhelming for me. As it is even today. I’m sensitive to noise, energies, I’m hyper empathetic, and am affected by nearly everything, so I work with my emotional landscape constantly. It is also a gift, which allows me to truly feel and understand those around me and connect with my clients.
But in a world like today, I cannot hide in my little bubble. I curate my mind, all the while I am subtly aware of the energies that are conducting the minds of most through the biased screens of our phones.
I keep a keen inner eye on my body as I scroll the screen. At times, I’ll turn off my phone and notice I have a knot in my stomach without any understanding of it’s origin. I have to reverse the 20 posts I just saw in my mind to recognize which ones hit me in places that stimulated some tough memories or activated emotion.
I think at times we are walking around either numb or stuffed to the brim with the impact of over stimulation and high intensity imagery, emotion and messaging that stick in our subconscious and for that matter in our bodies.
There is an epidemic of stress and anxiety occurring. If we stopped everything in this moment, turned the phone in airplane mode and looked out the window. What is actually wrong with this moment?
There is a train inside, that runs on the fuel of what if. It runs on the fuel of your emotional impact. Fear is an incredible motivator but also an incredible immobilizer.
We deal with fear by looking at more of that which we’re afraid of, confirming again and again the bias we have about the world and ultimately who we are in relationship to the world.
I examine the need and the compulsion that is so utterly powerful to pull us away from our own lives and delve us into flashes of others lives, for hours at a time.
I get a laugh at the cat video, I get a sexy ass to get a little turned on, I drop a tear for someones heart felt personal share, I get a smile to see my friend with their kid out to eat, I get pissed off with a post about what Trump will do, horrified and helpless at the Palestinian occupation, then I laugh at another cat video and all this in a record amount of time, less than 1 minute.
As humans for millions of years we grew up in villages, the concerns remained within the threats to the tribe or wild animals or potential enemies, they focused on hunting, gathering, environmental or survival issues.
We were held by our common bond, location, family, belonging and survival. We knew each other. When a death occurred we would all grieve together, when a new child was born, we would celebrate together, we farmed together, we made food and houses together.
Our awareness was limited to that which was in our immediate vicinity.
We now have the entire world’s problems in our back pocket at any moment we pick up our phone.
It’s incredibly empowering in a way, we can know anything at anytime, just ask AI. We have our own personal god who can answer any question and often will taint it according to what we would like to hear based on the algorithm.
At the same time, have you ever gone into a giant supermarket without a clear grocery list of what you need? You wander through the aisles and you end up with a cart full of food of random things you didn’t actually really need.
Why do you think supermarkets don’t have clear indications where to find your item?
Why do you think the lights are fluorescent and glaring?
Why do you think there are big signs everywhere promoting this sale or that one?
It creates confusion, creates distraction and ultimately creates passivity, which enforces more buying.
We enter into the world’s largest supermarket in our pockets and let our brains turn into butter. Manipulate me, do what you want with me, take me… and then we feel like we don’t have a sense of purpose, feel anxious and worried and can’t focus.
I wonder why.
I’ve made it a mission to take care of my body, mind and spirit. I want to live fully and capably until I’m 80 or longer. I want to surround myself with that which feeds all parts of me, that which gives me life and makes me feel f*cking vibrant in this world.
No, I’m done the hiding in a little bubble to ward off the evil doers. I’m taking up the space of my canvas. They can go put themselves in that little bubble for all I’m interested.
If they permeate my space, I’ll deal with it, one thing at a time, but I will not let the pervading fear, news, criticism, and faces that make my stomach turn, transform the beautiful world I have chosen to create.
Curating the mind is a daily practice. Curating my body and my health is intentional. Every time I pick up my phone, I witness myself and say… “does this add to my life in this moment, is this necessary, does this bring me something of value?”
Ultimately it’s not about banning ourselves from social media, but understanding what does this bring me? Do I use it to numb out or relax from a long day, distraction, compulsion, is this pointing to dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment in other areas, or am I just a supermarket wanderer who has not made a choice of why I’m here?
Personally, I do not want to be a victim to what I’m presented on the media or even consider myself a victim to all the challenging circumstances that I’ve experienced throughout my life, ultimately it is my choice to choose what I do with those ingredients.
As the saying goes… If life gives you lemons, make lemonade right…
or I’ll just ask my trusted AI companion for a few more:
Turn obstacles into opportunities.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
When life gives you a hard road, make it a path to success.
You can't control the wind, but you can adjust the sails.
Take the bitter with the sweet.
A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
How’s that for motivation!?
We talk about free choice being taken away, if we don’t know what we choose, they will choose it for us.
My invitation to you is to choose the life you desire, no more victimhood. If something moves you and fuels desire to change that which our world presents, then use that fuel and do something, but pounding down our vitality to that which leaves us helpless will not change the world or create happiness.
And.. the law of magnetism affirms that energy matches energy, if you radiate happiness, you will send out that frequency and hopefully add to the ripple effect around you. Who you are is who you attract and to add to that: What you believe you will create.
I believe we can change the world by creating, seeing and acknowledging the beauty we have in our world RIGHT NOW. The small connections, the sky, the sunset, the stranger who smiled at you, each act of kindness, a warm blanket in the morning, a hug from a partner or a friend, a bird singing, if we focus more and more on the beauty in our lives, the law of energy must match it.
And for those of you who may be saying, “yeah, but you’re putting on blinders, ignoring the suffering and pain in the world, how can you just live oblivious to what is happening?”
And I say, yeah, I feel our common humanity and it pains my heart to no end, but the pain in my heart, unless I actively do something, will not help you across the world. I see you, I feel you, I recognize the injustice. My heart in connection with all life bleeds with yours.
But, if I choose to support wellbeing on this planet, it is by appreciating all life and especially the life I was given as a blessing and I will not be so privileged to waste it.
Blessings to you - Carly